Mistakes
by Cheesesack
Summary: Shepard reunites with her love on Illium, only to discover that she is not who she once was. FemShep/Liara Oneshot - Updated with improved dialouge after a second playthrough.


**Author's Notes:**

Hey there everyone, you may recognize me from my other story 'Two Little Lovebirds'.

I've had this idea for a brief oneshot ever since finishing Mass Effect 2. I, along with pretty much everyone else who romanced Liara in the first game, felt that her personality and character in the second left a lot to be desired. Bioware basically spat in our faces and robbed up of the cute, innocent woman we'd come to know and love from before.

So, yeah, I just thought I'd write a piece trying to reconcile these two completely different versions of the same person. I also took the chance to adjust Shepard's lines to what I actually wanted to scream in her face during the in-game encounter.

Here's hoping Bioware removes the imposter for ME 3 and returns the original unharmed.

As always, don't forget to review. They make my day.

**Mistakes**

Liara T'Soni, former Prothean archaeologist turned information dealer, exhaled slightly as she tried to control the nerves fluttering in her chest. It was an exercise in futility, but then again she suspected that anyone in her current position couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive. After all, it wasn't every day that you got the chance to meet a woman who, by all accounts, should have been dead for two years. It was even more extraordinary when you considered that that woman was none other than the famous Commander Shepard.

The spectre was a living legend, but more importantly, she was the woman Liara had loved.

For someone in her position, it had been easy enough to discover her former shipmate's whereabouts. The extranet was alive with stories about Shepard's return, some more detailed than others, but all confirming what she hadn't dared to hope for in all the time they'd been separated. Against all the odds, Cerberus had done the impossible.

And now, Lucy was on Illium. The Normandy had docked not half an hour previously and Liara had no doubt that she'd be seeing the spectre again before the day was out. It was a daunting prospect, especially when she had no concrete knowledge of what to expect. Until Lucy walked into her office, Liara had no way of knowing if she even looked the same as she had before.

She didn't have to wait long.

The intercom button set into her desk beeped once, and the Asari returned the call with a trembling hand. On the other end her secretary could briefly be heard conversing with an all too familiar voice.

"There's someone here to see you ma'am." she said, unmistakeably flustered "She claims to know you. Should I send her through?"

"Yes...please." Liara noticed how husky she sounded, and swallowed nervously.

When the doors parted, the Asari felt her breath catch in her throat. Lucy Shepard stood there, her looks unaltered from how she'd appeared prior to the fateful encounter with the Collectors. She wore the same tiny smile that Liara remembered so clearly; ever-present and always warm and welcoming. This time though, there was something different. The upturn of her lips failed to reach Lucy's eyes, and in them, the Asari could see a lingering sadness.

"Shepard," she said quietly "It is good to see you again."

The spectre glided across the floor, her movement filled with the same feline grace they always had been. She didn't speak until they were within touching distance.

"Not even a welcome back kiss?"

Before Liara could say anything else, she felt Lucy's hand on her back, drawing them together. It was hard not to get swept up in the moment; after all, it had been two long years since another had held her so closely. When Lucy's lips brushed against hers, she did not protest; letting the passion of the moment warm her soul in way she'd forgotten it could.

As always however, reality hit home. It was wrong to do this here...in a place where her every move was being watched. Such an obvious display of love could endanger both of them. Reluctantly, she pushed herself away from Lucy's comforting heat.

"What's wrong Liara?" the spectre's words rang with a note of hurt "Aren't you pleased to see me?"

The Asari turned away to face the vista of Nos Astra that spread out before her. For some reason, it felt uncomfortable to look Lucy in the eye…as if it was somehow too intimate.

"Believe me Shepard, I am." Liara said, forcing her expression to remain neutral "But a lot has changed in the years you've been...gone."

An awkward silence filled the room; a tension she had never felt with the spectre previously. Even before they'd become lovers they'd always been able to talk openly...but now.

"There's someone else isn't there," Lucy murmured, clearly pained to be saying the words "Of course there is, you thought I was dead...you've moved on."

"There's nobody but you," Liara whispered "Not now, not ever."

"Then what?" the Asari felt a tender hand brush across her lower back and fought to maintain her composure "What aren't you telling me?"

"It's been two years Shepard." she said finally "For two years, I haven't been able to trust anybody. Now, you show up again and-and I want to trust you but...I don't know how."

Lucy placed her hands on Liara's shoulders, gently steering her around until they were face to face once more.

"I want the truth," the spectre said; kindly but with a tone that showed she wouldn't take no for an answer "When the Normandy was destroyed, you were a talented and dedicated scholar of Prothean history. Now, two years later, I discover that you're on Illium working for the Shadow Broker. What's going on Liara?"

The Asari bit her lip, her mind clouding with remorse. She longed to tell Lucy the truth, but it seemed like such a big step.

'Goddess, have I really become so bitter.' she thought, unsettled by where this was leading.

"I am not working with the Shadow Broker, Shepard. I am working against him."

Lucy seemed momentarily stunned, her gaze wandering as she processed this new information.

"Why?"

Liara should have seen the question coming, but it still made her uncomfortable. She didn't want to lie to Lucy, but nor did she feel ready to tell her the whole truth just yet. In the end, she settled for revealing a part of her motivations and hoping that the spectre would accept it for now.

"His agents were responsible for the death of a friend. I have spent the past year and a half hunting him, tracking his movements, his contacts. Sooner or later, he will make a mistake and when he does, I'll be there."

Lucy's hands fell away, and for the first time ever, Liara saw uncertainty in her expression.

"It sounds like you want to kill him."

"I do."

"So...this is personal?"

Liara shut her eyes tightly, struggling to find the strength to maintain her cool exterior.

"More than you might believe Shepard."

Lucy stared at her; a piercing gaze that seemed to bore right through her facade of indifference.

"Liara," she said carefully "This is dangerous. The Shadow Broker had been around for as long as anyone can remember. Hell, there are even theories that he existed at the time of the Protheans. If that's true, how can you hope to take him on. He's been in this buisness a lot longer than you have. You're risking you life...and for what? Revenge? Closure?"

"You weren't there!" the Asari replied, her voice rising in volume and pitch as her frosty exterior began to crack "You didn't see what I saw...I can't let him get away with it. I can't let him win!"

Lucy slammed her fist on the desk, jolting a stack of pads onto the floor.

"He's already won!" she shouted, her tone more scared than angry "Can't you see! He's forced you to play his game...he's warped you into something you're not. I don't know who I'm looking at now but it sure as hell isn't Liara T'Soni, the adorable archaeologist I fell in love with. She would never have talked about killing someone as if it were the most natural thing in the world."

Liara simply stared, words failing her for the first time since taking her new job. As she watched, all the fight seemed to leave Lucy and she slumped into a seat facing the window.

"What have the past two years done to you?" she asked quietly, her voice trembling with repressed sorrow "What has _he_ done to you?"

Liara felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes and tried in vain to blink them away. Instead, they came thick and fast, rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto the floor.

"I have to do this," she whispered "Lucy...it's all my fault. When the Normandy went down, I refused to believe that you'd died along with it. I searched for months until I found what remained of your body. When I did...it was too much to bare."

Fearing that her legs might give way at any moment, Liara sank into the nearest chair she could find.

"When I learned that the Shadow Broker was after you too, I was appalled. H-He wanted to sell your corpse to the Collectors. I couldn't let that happen, but I couldn't just let you go either; you mean too much to me. In the end, I decided to give you to Cerberus. I knew how much you hated them, but it was the only chance I had of getting you back. I sacrificed your ideals because I was...am, too selfish to face life without you."

Lucy pondered the words for a very long time before speaking.

"I...didn't know. I'm sorry Liara, I had no idea."

"He tried to sell you like a common commodity...he tried to have me killed." the Asari pleaded, begging the Goddess to let her spectre understand "Now can you see why I have to stop him?"

Now it was Lucy's turn to look away. The spectre seemed to have aged ten years in the time it had taken for them to have this conversation; her beautiful face looking weary and haunted.

"No Liara, I can't."

The words pierced the maiden like a bullet, leaving her speechless. How could Shepard not see what she saw?

"You're the only reason I'm standing here now." the spectre continued "No matter how much I despise Cerberus, I could never begrudge you for giving me to them. Being resurrected, even with strings attached, is infinitely better than the alternative. I understand how hard it must have been for you, but was it really worth throwing away two years of your life over? The Shadow Broker is evil...his methods are evil; and it seems to me that in the process of hunting him down, you adopted them as if it was second nature. Did he kill your morals as well as your friend?"

Lucy stood up abruptly, a small, sad smile lingering on her features. Turning to the trembling Asari, she offered her hand. Liara took it mutely, still struggling to process the weight of what Shepard was saying and where she now stood in the spectre's eyes.

"He's damaged you Liara," Lucy murmured, trailing one delicate fingertip along her lover's jaw with a galaxies worth of regret colouring her eyes "These things happen so gradually that you don't see them coming. It's been years for you, but to me, it's been no more than a couple of months since I saw your face light up with excitement at the prospect of a visit to Ilos. From where I'm standing, that sweet and wonderful woman is all but invisible."

Lucy leaned closer, until her lips hovered a hair's breadth away from touching pale blue skin.

"If you want to use Liara's body to exact revenge then I can't stop you, but please...give her back to me when you're finished. I know she's in there somewhere, just waiting to break through this facade you've constructed around her. Perhaps, with time, you'll realize that there are some things in life more important than petty vendettas and some people who need you more than whatever network of 'contacts' and 'agents' you've acquired."

A single, burning tear leaked from the corner of Lucy's eye. The fact that she didn't try to stop it was like a slap in the face to the Asari who was beginning to realise just how much damage her actions had done.

"I'm sorry that your important buisness prevents you from joining me Liara. If you do change your mind; there's a picture on my desk that I long to replace with the real thing. I just pray you can remember what the 'real' thing is."

Without another word, the spectre turned and hurried from the office, leaving a stunned and tearful Asari in her wake.

For a very long time, Liara just stood there, staring at the ruins of what had passed itself off as a life for two long, painful years. Eventually, she sought out the one place in her room which was hidden from the surveillance cameras and sank to the floor.

Amidst the noise of the trading kiosks below was the unmistakable sound of a broken woman weeping.


End file.
